Corporal+Punishment+vs+Verbal+Punishment+ROUGH+DRAFT+MARIANA+DELGADO

MR. SCHULT, PLEASE PEER EDIT MY ESSAY IN THE ATTACHED FILE SO YOU ARE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THIS ESSAY SINCE THERE WERE CHANGES DONE TO MY ESSAY AS THEY WERE PEER EDITING IT. THANK YOU! 1268950861 I read the attached document and looked over your essay below too. You've made a lot of good improvements and I like how your essay reads. Some more sources, university studies, people with PhD's after their name, authors of prominent books -- sources like this will add the finishing touch to a good first draft. 1268966121

Should Parents Use Corporal or Verbal Punishment? There have been constant debates as to how parents should educate their children, __whether being corporal punishment or verbal punishment.__ (akward wording) “Corporal punishment is the use of physical force intended to cause some degree of pain or discomfort for discipline, correction, and control, changing behaviour or in the belief of educating or bringing up the child,” (Save the Children, 2003). Verbal punishment, on the other hand, refers to the action of s colding a child to eliminate the undesirable behavior. (I like how you specified each term and how they are different.) Research conducted in different countries reveals the severity of harm that can be inflicted on children when adults try to manage their behavior.**[I think you should try to maybe explain vaguely what in what have these researches consisted]** __Using__ __(It should be: "The use of")__ corporal punishment increases the likelihood for a child to suffer injuries that ma (may) scar them for life. __Despite the belief that Corporal punishment has been known to better educate a child (__ sounds akward __)__, it brings an inner fear inside that child that can become psychologically damaging, while verbal punishment opens an opportunity for a child to learn what the difference is between right and wrong in society. Verbal punishment is said to give the chance or ability for the child to makes his or her own decision. Bringing this sort of freedom can, in the future, give them both responsibility and conscience to choose what is right and wrong. The child will also learn and experience that there is a major difference between right and wrong proceedings but they (he/she, omit ‘they’) will learn that whatever they do ( he/she does, omit ‘they do’), whether right or wrong according to society, they ( he/she, omit ‘they’) will be held accountable or responsible for their ( his/her, omit ‘their’) actions. (Agree to purple changes but don't repeat "he or she" so often in a single sentence) When we are born in democratic countries, we are said to possess this freedom every other inhabitant wishes to have. (Agree to the changes that the purple color person is suggesting. ) **[You should add some type of ethos that backs up this past sentence ]**

Verbal Punishment vs. Corporal Punishment- What Should Parents Do? __3__ __should__ embrace this belief as much as we can, and place it into practice since we are youngsters. “Save the Children’s work on corporal punishment aims at accountability for children’s right to freedom from all forms of violence, starting from where the majority of children experience violence: home,” (Save the Children, 2003). Such organizations, like these , try to work for the better life of our children, (and,) try to give them their rights of child freedom. Corporal punishment has been known to be the cause of so many child abuse cases. Corporal/physical punishment can be also psychologically damaging (e.g. causing low self esteem, sadness, shame, depression, etc.). “Psychological violence, including humiliating or degrading treatment and threats, can be equally or more harmful to the child,” (Save the Children, 2003). The strongest message (Sent by corporal punishment,) and one that is very often unintended is __that corporal punishment sends a message to the mind of a child__ (Omit) that violence is __violence__ __(omit word)__ **[I concur with the comment that precedes]** an acceptable behaviour, and that it is right for a stronger, older person to use force to coerce a weaker one. This enables a cycle of violence in the family and later on, in society. “Children have to be educated, but they have also to be left to educate themselves,” (Dimnet, A., 1928). Giving a reprimand to a child instead of spanking, caning or whipping, will give the child the opportunity to educate himself or herself. Corporal punishment is useless in the fact that it only brings fear into a child, fear of facing the consequences when in time, one must not hide from their fears, they (we, omit they) (Use "one" instead of "they" in accordance to the subject, change the following "have to" to "must") have to face them. “Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous,” (Confucius, nd). This quote from the well-known philosopher can be applied for corporal ___?__ Verbal Punishment vs. Corporal Punishment- What Should Parents Do? 4 punishment; if a parent uses corporal punishment when his or her child behaves inappropriately, the child will not learn why he is being punished, (and) will not learn to differentiate the difference in (Omit "the difference in" use "between") right and wrong. “You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives” (Bedford, C., n.d.). Learning increases the ability in children, not only for them to define and understand the difference between right and wrong, but will serve them in future obligations. Teaching a child, or verbally punishing a child will become a lesson he or she will posses throughout his /her entire life. Physically punishing, that a child will never know what is right and what is wrong__,__ this__(omit this word)____ will only awaken fear. Children are not able to rationalize correctly because they are moral patients, making it difficult for them to understand the reasoning behind their inappropriate behaviour. This is one of the reasons why parents decide to “educate” their child by using corporal punishment. This not only creates emotional distortions but it gravely affects a child’s mentality about violence. Many parents believe that children are only able to learn how to behave accordingly in society by punishing them, “If it hurts, then it is bad. Loud noises, that is to say yelling and scolding, can serve as a warning but are rarely as effective as associating bad choices and actions with pain. Pain is a universal language which even the youngest can understand and remember. After all, even a two year old cries when they go to get a shot. No matter how mild that pain is, they remember it and wish to avoid it,” (McDaniel, S., n.d.). Physical punishment has boundaries, there are limits a parent must not overcome when disciplining his or her child, unfortunately this rarely happens. Parents are under the belief that physically disciplining their child will Verbal Punishment vs. Corporal Punishment- What Should Parents Do? 5 not cause any emotional or mental distortion; it is just a way to discipline a child, to teach them the difference between right and wrong. “A study done by Dr. Paul Frick of the University of New Orleans in Louisiana was published in the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, it stated that corporal punishment ** can ** lead to emotional and behavioral problems down the road. In fact, this study suggests that children who are spanked even occasionally are more likely to experience depression or low self-esteem compared to children who are not spanked,” (Kim, B., 2008). Corporal punishment teaches a child to become afraid of the consequences he or she might face, instead of learning and distinguishing what is right and wrong. It has a counter effect, most children who are physically punished later become victims of child abuse and can lead to emotional and behavioral problems. Verbal punishment gives a child the opportunity to learn the actions he might take may be morally wrong according to his society. Verbal punishment is a better and safer way when disciplining children; it reduces the chance for child abuse to arise and for a child to become psychologically affected. (I like how this ends and summarizes what you've said . ) **[I really am amazed as to how you incorporated the philosophical term and language learned in class into this paragraph.]** (Nice closing sentence.)

I think that you wrote a good essay, but it still needs some little details fixed. I think you should focus on the grammar of your sentences. Also, talk more about the objections and responses. I liked that you had a lot of evidence and quotes which helped you prove and give support to your arguments. Well done. -Janelle Andonie

I like how you analyze and define Corporal and Verbal Punishment. There are minor mistakes of grammar and sentence fragments but overall this is a good essay. There are many examples that make the essay very credible and I like all the examples because they are easy to understand. By: Eun Young Jeon

**Comments By: Victor Garcia 1268790547

The essay has good foundlings. I think the topic of the essay is really controversial and the Way it is presented is what gives it its beauty. The essay is really good and the author did a great job on making the topic and her side easy to catch and understand. We have to remember that in order to guarantee credibility we have to avoid the " things" explanation when we can explain what those things are. Assuring these the reader will have no doubt on the ethos of the essay.The author clearly has a good knowledge of the English language because most sentences are congruent. Just the normal grammar and spelling errors. Way to go Stats!, you can make it shine in the Final Draft.**

I really like how you presented both opposing sides, verbal punishment and physical punishment. You gave solid examples and provided sources for most if not all of the statements that would recquire one. Try to change the nuances of your grammar so that the sentences flow easily in the reader's eyes. Good job!1268792685 I like your essay topic, it is something that we, as Latin Americans, have trouble recognizing. Among your essay strengths I can point out the quotes, especially the one Confucius said. However, I believe your essay would be better if you included some statistics to support your claims. In addition, you should add that physical punishment reinforces violent behavior. If a child is being hit by their parents because he did something wrong, the child may grow up believing that hitting people is the right way to teach. The abused becomes the abuser. Furthermore I think your thesis statement is weak, it´s somewhat awkward.user:gabriv